In search of...

It's all becoming the same.
Let me take another sip....
Alright I'm ready now, wait, she looks familiar. "Hey let me get a cognac and jack... Hold the ice!.."

"Esquire, I thought you were driving."

Fuck, that's right, "make it two!"

"Babe... I think you have a drinking problem."


She giggles. I down the drinks, grab her hand for the dance floor. Her hand was rough, her elegant skin went away, her voice was more of an act to sound sexy, her body was amazing...I begin to feel tension...... She refuses. And then it hits me. This isn't Daisy. This is the hooker I picked up down Slothem. She wants money not sex, cause she had enough of that. Maybe I should break the news to her. I don't know this girl, what the hell am I doing here!? 

"Hey, let me get a water and close the tab." 

"I'm not getting in the car with you like this."

 "Listen here lil lady... You were never getting in my car." this mufucka crazy.


I place my finger on her lips, disgusted, "save it, have a great night." Escorted her to the old guy Bill next to me, he's a regular. This was my 5th hooker this week. I even became friends with the regulars. Bill was a broker, believed in polygamy and well, you see it hasn't worked out. Gregg was born into wealth, never worked a day in his life but got so caught up in drugs and alcohol that it has become his everyday habit. Samantha, pretty lady, mean soul. She couldn't keep a man if life depended on it. The three amigos is what I called them. And me Esquire, the lone wolf. 

It has become an everyday occurrence to ride down Slothem, down rails and top the night off with sex. Sex with randoms. Not your typical one night stand but rather an embarrassing act of cope. I never imagined this as a result of breakup. This is more pathetic than Robin Thicke having every song on his new album about Paula Patton and naming it Paula to make it worst. It was a disaster.

Chapter 2: "Caught in the Act/The empty soul"

5:44 pm. It was a Wednesday. A few weeks later. All I could think about was climbing up those long legs of yours. You're talking but I'm not really listening, one more shot and your mine. The room is pretty packed, it's art Basel in Miami. Someone comes up says something but I could care less. All I see is you, my place and the rest of our night.... naked. This is how I envisioned life as a teen. You're the type women die to be, gosh am I lucky. The song changes and you lean over and say, "I love who you have become." Accent is just as beautiful as her soul. Her hand finds mine while my other lands on her thigh. I whisper in her ear, gently squeezing on her thigh. I feel her body tingling. Tonight I'm going to lay my head between your legs. I order more drinks and she tells the couple walking by us, "his work is amazing isn't it?" Before I would've basked into the shadows lacking confidence but it was a great feeling for people knowing me and what I could bring to the table. They acknowledge my work and say, "you two are beautiful together." She giggles, I pause but somehow still manage to generate a smile. Another person walks up and says you should paint a portrait of her. I laugh and say "perhaps I will. Maybe." This night seems perfect. Or could it be the alcohol. Nonetheless, life seems amazing. 
It's an hour later, on drink 13 or so. She leans over and says, "babe, let's get out of here, I cannot wait to get you to myself" she then grabs my hand and slowly but quickly grazes it on her vagina. That's que.
We stumble out laughing as the valet pulls around the car. The ride is loud as can be, no music, no talking all sexual tension ventilates. This is probably how the Weeknd feels at 3am after smashing a girl. We ride further down and I'm catching every green light. Blood Rushing. All I could think about was fulfilling this girls every need, becoming the man she desires. 

"OMG, Esqui.....!!!!!!"

Everything seems distorted. Mind has hit a wall. All thoughts hitting from all angles. Lost. Where am I?

It's complete silence. 
Voices very fuzzy. The smell of smoke brushes my nose. A man grabs my hand and slowly pulls me out. I've then realized we've been in an accident. I faintly here her crying, I rush to her voice. As I get closer more voices appear. The other car was in complete shambles. My heart is racing, stomach below earths crust, legs weary. As I get to the car I couldn't get a glimpse of the driver but they're stuck. I quickly make my way to help them. I reach into the car knowing only a matter of time before the car explodes.......

"Daisy?! Daisy!!!!". Tears fall from my eyes body loses all feelings. She says, "baby please get me out of here, please."

"Get out of there kid, the car is about to blow!!!! Run!!!" - pedestrian

4 men forcefully pull me out as I scream, her name. She looks at me, I stare at her as she lips, " I love you." Julia runs up next to me and grabs me and Daisy face turns sour. I felt her soul leave her body. My mind was only on Daisy. I felt, saw nothing else. The ground shakes.

A month goes by. Jail. There wasn't a second that went by where I haven't thought of killing myself. I wear a lie as a permanent tattoo on my heart. You should have been with me that night, I was never at a meeting, I wanted to impress Julia, the model. Julia had nothing on you. My Daisy. 

Esquire died. An empty soul was left. Walking earth alone. 

La Fin